I type with such a heavy heart.
I had every intention of blogging each night this week. And if I had, there would have been a completely different tone of emotion each time. Last night I was praising God for answered prayers. Small triumphs in my own life. Selfish desires coming to fruition. I wanted to shout from the mountaintops, "How great is this God we serve?!!!"
But a mere 24 hours later, I've learned that the wife and mother of a dear person I work with has been told her life is likely to end far sooner than anyone imagined. She has a very agressive form of breast cancer. She is the mother of four young children. I hear of people with cancer all the time. I'm touched by the work of the Susan G. Komen Foundation. I love observing, and sometimes even supporting, all of the "pink" campaigns throughout the world. But when it comes to your front doorsteps, cancer is far too real.
Even when I have my moments of tenderness, they are fleeting. I haphazardously continue with my little, unimportant life. What if this cancer was happening to me, or to my mom or sister? What would I do? Would I fall apart? I most certainly would. And for that, I'm ashamed. It's so easy to brush another person's sorrow off. Telling them they'll be in my "prayers" and offering to bring a meal over. But I don't really know what kind of valley they're traveling through. My life hasn't yet been touched by cancer, or any true tragedy for that matter. I feel blessed, but I also feel an enormous amount of guilt. It's frightening to think how many people I will know and love who have yet to even be diagnosed. I'm scared. And I wonder how real my faith will look then.
So far this morning, I've prayed without ceasing for this family. I want God so badly to work a miracle in this woman's life. I want for the doctors to be dumbfounded the next time they see her. And, I want her children to have their mother for many, many more years. But, how often does God's will not line up with mine? I've prayed for miracles before, and the answer has not been what I'd hoped for. I find myself at a loss for words and advice and I'm surely not equipped to comfort someone who's in this situation.
I thank God for the Spirit - and for His intercession, because there's no other being with wisdom enough to know what to do or say.
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2 comments:
Praying for that family. What a hard thing to go through during the holidays.
It's amazing how empty words can sound at times like this. Speaking from experience when going through something so horrific, the family wants to know that you're praying. The family wants to hear that everyone and everything is Praising God and asking Him to place His Healing Hands upon this woman and work a Miracle. Miracles do still happen, I believe this earnestly. Too often as Christians we think if we pray hard enough we can change His mind. It's hard to see how His Will could be for this woman and her family to suffer. It's easy to ask Him "why" and curse the fact that He's "allowing" this to happen. This woman and her family, especially her children, do not deserve this and God knows that. He did not cause this, she did not cause this, and there is never a reason to think He has some malicious intent towards them. I pray that there will be a Peace, a Peace that transcends all understanding. There is no reason for tragedies such as this to occur, but what we choose to do, what we choose to learn, and how we choose to honor Him can bring Glory to His Kingdom.
Fight. Do not ever give up Hope without a Fight. Pray for Miracles, they DO happen. And words are not empty when followed by actions.
And remember, when we pray for Healing, our prayers are ALWAYS answered though not necessarily in the ways we had intended.
I'm not going to lie, this SUCKS for that family and I will be praying for them, not just because it's the Holidays but because it SUCKS when cancer enters lives. It is a dark cloud at any time of the year and I believe GOD can beat it. There is no power on Earth He cannot defeat. We need merely ask Him to do His Mightiest. And so we shall.
Wow that got preachy....sorry! I actually just intended to say how my heart is breaking for that family and that is what came out of my fingertips. So yeah I'm leaving it. God be with this family, and with you as you struggle with harnessing His Mercy and Grace into your heart and as you spread His Love to this family. My sincerest Hope is for the healing of this woman's body, that God will enable the physicians to heal her mortal body, that she will remain on this earth with her precious children and her loving husband. That is my prayer in Jesus' name, Amen.
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